Faithful (take 2)
This year has been quite unexpected. At the beginning of this year I asked God to give me a word for the year. The word he gave me was "Faithful" this is what I wrote here in my blog about it.
Throughout this whole year I have heard so many things that in the natural should have freaked me out. Most people I know have been freaked out. But I have had peace from the beginning. As I was thinking about it and talking with Jose this is what I realized. We have been through so many hard situations and often tried to do things to avoid or mitigate the consequences. But at a certain point you just learn to trust God. In all honesty, trusting God has become almost easy for me.
When I was pregnant with Caleb the Dr told me I was losing him at 15 weeks. I did not accept that and began doing everything physically possible to keep him safe. I was low on amniotic fluid and I read that dehydration could play into that so I drank at least 3 liters of water a day. Bed rest was suggested so I adhered to the best rest idea for 6 months. That is not an easy way to live. Especially when you are moving and have 2 rowdy boys aged 5 and 6. I did everything the dr suggested and pretty much everything I could find on the internet. I tried to control that baby into health. He did make it to full term and he was born alive. But he wasn't healed, he passed away 33 hours after he was born. That happened literally the first year of us being missionaries. We had been on the field for a little over 9 month's when I got pregnant and moved to Piura about 3 months later. We planted our church and had just started having services when he was born. Everyone here expected us to come back. Not maliciously. It was a hard situation. We kind of took comfort knowing that nobody would think us weak if we couldn't take it. But we knew that we had to stay.
Over the years we have lived through natural disasters, traumatic loss of relationships, a lot of sickness and several hospital stays. One time Jose had appendicitis while I was in the states and he was in Peru. He told me he was sick and going to the hospital and would call me when he knew more. But he went straight into surgery so didn't call me. I was 8 months pregnant with Zoe and imagined he had died but nobody was going to tell me. I've dealt with chronic health issues our entire time there, we've not having enough money to do what we needed to do often, and we've gone through extremely difficult times in our marriage. All of these have been a sort of bootcamp in trusting God. After a certain amount of hardship you either learn to trust God or you decide you can't and you give up. It's kind of inevitable.
I have certainly lived on the ready to give up side of the fence a lot. Like I mentioned in my last post I've often been afraid to mention the things we've gone through or my feelings on them because I was afraid that people would think I was whining or complaining or I would hurt our testimony. I didn't realize it was our testimony. In every single situation God has been faithful. When we haven't had the money for things more often then not God puts it on somebody's heart to send us a little something. When we've had health trauma God has provided and put the right Dr's in our lives to take care of it. Last year Zoe had to have a tumor removed from her cheek. That was such a fear for me because they told us all the things that could have gone wrong. From facial paralysis to possibly having the tumor come back or spread, not to mention the risks of having surgery in the first place. In the end it was the absolute best kind of tumor, and she is so tough she never even took ibuprofen after she left the hospital.
God is faithful in our lives. He is always faithful. Even when the results are not what we would have wanted. Like with Caleb. Or the fact that I continue struggling with my health issues. I rest in the fact that He is in control and in everything he does he is looking out for me. So far the saying has held true. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Sure there could be difficult days ahead. I'm not here to discount that. But whatever happens is not a surprise to God. That gives me comfort. We are still standing and know we don't have control anyway. So I encourage you. You have been through hard things too. I'm sure you have and God has been with you in those times. If you start to feel overwhelmed or scared about what could happen. Remember the times that God has walked beside you or carried you through the difficulties. Trust in Him and let him take control. He is always Faithful <3
If you would like to partner with us financially we have 3 ways to do it
Paypal jkmission2peru@gmail.com
Venmo @KatJoseLopez
or you can give through this link for a tax deductible donation press here!
"My word for the year this year is Faithful. I always find that my word takes me awhile to get to I almost never start the year with it. I'm being reminded that God is faithful and I need to be full of faith. The first 3 scriptures of the year in our bible time had the word Faithful in them. That was the trigger. But I regularly forget that God is faithful. I start to believe that I have to complete His promises for Him. So as I was going about my day after reading the bible the phrase "God is faithful" would ring in my ears. I've been battling some things in my heart and the reminder "God is faithful" helps to quiet the noise. So this year I am working on trusting in God and counting on His faithfulness."
I did not write everything that God told me but he said I would see that he is faithful and I would grow more faithful or "full of faith." Then a couple weeks ago I was talking with a friend and she said that God is working on her faithfulness and specifically mentioned being full of faith. When she said that it took me back to January and what God was ministering to my heart back then.
Throughout this whole year I have heard so many things that in the natural should have freaked me out. Most people I know have been freaked out. But I have had peace from the beginning. As I was thinking about it and talking with Jose this is what I realized. We have been through so many hard situations and often tried to do things to avoid or mitigate the consequences. But at a certain point you just learn to trust God. In all honesty, trusting God has become almost easy for me.
When I was pregnant with Caleb the Dr told me I was losing him at 15 weeks. I did not accept that and began doing everything physically possible to keep him safe. I was low on amniotic fluid and I read that dehydration could play into that so I drank at least 3 liters of water a day. Bed rest was suggested so I adhered to the best rest idea for 6 months. That is not an easy way to live. Especially when you are moving and have 2 rowdy boys aged 5 and 6. I did everything the dr suggested and pretty much everything I could find on the internet. I tried to control that baby into health. He did make it to full term and he was born alive. But he wasn't healed, he passed away 33 hours after he was born. That happened literally the first year of us being missionaries. We had been on the field for a little over 9 month's when I got pregnant and moved to Piura about 3 months later. We planted our church and had just started having services when he was born. Everyone here expected us to come back. Not maliciously. It was a hard situation. We kind of took comfort knowing that nobody would think us weak if we couldn't take it. But we knew that we had to stay.
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| 1 hour before Caleb died I got to meet him. He waited for me |
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| post surgery smile. a few hours out of anesthesia she smiled proving there was no paralysis |
I have certainly lived on the ready to give up side of the fence a lot. Like I mentioned in my last post I've often been afraid to mention the things we've gone through or my feelings on them because I was afraid that people would think I was whining or complaining or I would hurt our testimony. I didn't realize it was our testimony. In every single situation God has been faithful. When we haven't had the money for things more often then not God puts it on somebody's heart to send us a little something. When we've had health trauma God has provided and put the right Dr's in our lives to take care of it. Last year Zoe had to have a tumor removed from her cheek. That was such a fear for me because they told us all the things that could have gone wrong. From facial paralysis to possibly having the tumor come back or spread, not to mention the risks of having surgery in the first place. In the end it was the absolute best kind of tumor, and she is so tough she never even took ibuprofen after she left the hospital.
God is faithful in our lives. He is always faithful. Even when the results are not what we would have wanted. Like with Caleb. Or the fact that I continue struggling with my health issues. I rest in the fact that He is in control and in everything he does he is looking out for me. So far the saying has held true. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Sure there could be difficult days ahead. I'm not here to discount that. But whatever happens is not a surprise to God. That gives me comfort. We are still standing and know we don't have control anyway. So I encourage you. You have been through hard things too. I'm sure you have and God has been with you in those times. If you start to feel overwhelmed or scared about what could happen. Remember the times that God has walked beside you or carried you through the difficulties. Trust in Him and let him take control. He is always Faithful <3
If you would like to partner with us financially we have 3 ways to do it
Paypal jkmission2peru@gmail.com
Venmo @KatJoseLopez
or you can give through this link for a tax deductible donation press here!
Excellent! I have been witness to the resilient endurance and true faithfulness of these missionaries as well as of what God continues to do in their lives!
ReplyDeleteThanks guys... love y’all